Brain Chase Writing

WEEK 1
REFLECT. This week's challenge is to write something very descriptive. Descriptive writing involves using all five of your senses to create a vivid picture in the reader's mind and by paying close attention to details. (Click here for some pointers).

WHOOSH!! The rocket blasted off to space. I was getting pushed into my seat. I could see the the launch pad disappear, finally I was in space. The boosters shot off the rocket and slowly glided back to Earth. I was so exited that I was in space for the first time in my life. Suddenly an astroid came out of no where denting the rocket. I was in the Astroid Belt. I had to get out of it or the rocket would eventually break and I would be lost in space. It was nine o'clock pm but I could not sleep now I had to get the ship moving. The boosters turned on and I was out of the astroid belt and heading for Saturn. I flew over Saturn, Jupiter, Neptune, and Uranus and slowly landed on Pluto. Its cold rocky surface was barren and icy. I was nervous that I would not have any air left to get back home. I stuck the American flag in the ground for the first person to land on Pluto and with that I was on my way home. I flew over the Gas Giants and watched them disappeared. I flew over the Astroid Belt but just then the rocket crashed on Mars with a BANG!!  I got out of the rocket and saw the rocky surface of the red planet. I shivered. My oxygen tank had 5 minutes and the rocket had 3 hours left of air. I got in the rocket and flew home. 2 hours past and I was back on Earth. I got out and stretched. I was finally home!!!

Comments from teachers about this assignment

Received 06/27/2015
Hi Oliver! Welcome to Brain Chase! Great story you have here. I really like how you started right in the action of the rocket ship taking off. You had me hooked from the beginning. Nice work! You also included good, specific details and images that helped me visualize your trip to outer space. Something I noticed about your writing piece was your ending seemed a little rushed. This made it confusing. You describe crashing on Mars, but then you hop back in the rocket and fly home. I thought the rocket crashed? How would you fly home? I challenge you next time to develop the ending of your writing to support the rest of your story. You are off to a fantastic start with the writing challenge. I look forward to seeing what you come up with in the weeks ahead. Keep writing! Miss Maryanne

WEEK 2

I never saw it coming. I was in one of the strongest submarines in the world. I was searching for the sunken city of Atlantis. I did not even know that a torpedo was shot from a near by submarine. The torpedo hit the sub with a BANG!! The sub exploded. The only thing that was left of the sub was the  small escape pod. I had one choice if I waned to stay alive it was to swim down to the pod and get in it. I got in the pod and zoomed off through the water. Hours past  I was searching all around. I saw nothing.I was just about to turn back and give up when I saw a glimmer of pure gold. I turned the          pod to the gold and zoomed to the gold. I realized that the the gold was the ground of the sunken city of Atlantis. I took all the gold I could carry in the artifact storage. I was so exited that I was the first person to find Atlantis remembering the time I landed on Pluto. I looked at the gold satisfied with how much I had and I zoomed of to the surface. just then the same sub shot a torpedo at the pod.I only had enough time to grab 3 things. My oxygen tank, a pare of flippers, and a chunk of gold as big as a potato. Was  swimming up finally I got to the surface. I looked at the compass it was pointing North so I swam North. Finally I got  to the beach. I was happy to be on land and that I had a souvenir but I also was sad that I lost all that gold. I had to walk home.When I got home      I showered, changed, and told my family when I was in space and when I found Atlantis        

and showed them the gold. Finally we all fell asleep.

 

Comments from teachers about this assignment

Received 07/03/2015
Dear Oliver, I enjoyed reading your detail filled story about your submarine trip to find the lost city of Atlantis. I loved the many descriptive adjectives and comparisons you included in your work. You are an excellent writer. Your spelling was great and you included a clear and understandable beginning, middle and end. I especially enjoyed the comparisons you made as you described the various gold chunk sizes. Some words in English sound the same but have different meanings. Pare and pair are two of these. Remember that "pair" means two of something. I look forward to reading more from you soon. Good luck. Sincerely, Miss Catherine

WEEK 3

REFLECT. This week's challenge is to write something persuasive. Persuasive writing is using a researched and well-planned argument to influence the reader's thoughts or opinions on a certain topic (click here for some pointers).

My dad hates dogs. The rest of the family loves them. I have been trying to convince him to get a dog since the age of 6. The only dog he says he would want is a dog that, "does not shed, bark or poop." Obviously this dog does not exist. What he means is that dogs are too much trouble for him. I know caring for a dog is a big responsibility but it is worth it.  My family needs a dog.

Dogs are smart, playful, and kind. At school ARF (Animal Rescue Foundation) came and talked about stray dogs and cats and that they need a home. For an entire month all dogs and cats at ARF are free. In two weeks they help 95 dog and cats find their permanent homes. On Friday (the last day that ARF was visiting us) they gave us all a box. Inside the box there was a stuffed animal of a dog or a cat. I got a golden retriever I named it Goldie for the first 3 days  then I named him Biscuits. After that I made a dog bed for him. Every night I sleep with him. He even came on our family vacation.

I love Biscuits but a real dog would be better. It would actually fetch the ball instead of just standing there. A real dog would love me back. I could take it on walks and cuddle with me while I watch a movie. I love dogs!

Comments from teachers about this assignment

Received 07/16/2015
Hi Oliver, Wow, great job on your persuasive writing this week! I love dogs too, you definitely convinced me that having a dog is a good idea. Adopting a dog is an even better idea, like you said, there are lots of dogs and cats that don't have homes and would love a family to love them! If you do ever get a pet, I'm sure the dog will love all the attention and love you give it! When you can, try combining sentences so that your reader can understand what you are saying better! For example, "After that I made a dog bed for him. Every night I sleep with him. He even came on our family vacation" could be written like, "I even made a dog bed for him so we could sleep together every night. Even on family vacations he would come with us!" That just makes the paragraph flow better. Make sense? I have no doubt that your persuasiveness will help your case for adopting a new furry friend. I hope to read more of your work next week, and good luck with your challenges for Week Three! Best wishes, Miss Addison

WEEK 4

REFLECT. This week's challenge is to write something expository. Expository writing is used to explain, describe, or inform the reader about a certain topic without using emotion (click here for some pointers).

If you want to play Minecraft then you need to get ready. Minecraft is a block like game, similar to legos but on the computer. You can play it on an iPad, iPhone, computer, and xbox. You can make worlds and make what ever you want if you have the right blocks. You can build houses and fortresses. You can play multiplayer and battle with your friends. Minecraft is a lot of fun but you need to know some basics to get started. 

You can collect blocks by mining them and that is what I am going to be telling you about. If you hold anything except  for a pick-ax you can mine sand, dirt, wood, wood planks, red sand, crops, leaves, saplings, grass, tall grass, TNT, clay, and signs. You can mine any thing else except clouds, sky, lava, water, and bed rock. What you need is a crafting table. You can make it with 4 wood planks. With a crafting table you can craft a lot more things like hoes and other useful things like that. To place a block you need to tap the screen and the block that you are holding will appear there but there are mobs and you need to fight them to make better stuff.

I hope that you will get Minecraft and the up dates that Minecraft comes with. The newest up date is where there are new biomes and new materials like fishing rods. There is every reason for you to get Minecraft.

Comments from teachers about this assignment

Received 07/18/2015
Hi Oliver, This was an excellent instructional guide on how to play Minecraft. You were especially specific about all the things you can and can't mine, which would be helpful to a beginning player. There are two small things you could fix and really make your writing polished. First, when you write the numbers zero through ten, you should write them out with letters rather than as numerals. Secondly, you wrote "up date" but that's actually one word: "update." Keep up the great work! I hope you're having an adventurous summer. I can't wait to read what creative writing piece you come up with next time. Best, Miss Devon

WEEK 5
REFLECT. This week's challenge is to write a poem. Poetry is writing used to express feelings and ideas through style and rhythm (click here for some pointers).

I woke up one morning and it seemed to be a perfect day.
My favorite cereal was ready for me.
 All school I could smell fresh grass.
My friends seemed to know what I waned to do.
I got A+s on all my tests.
My mom took me to my favorite diner in the world and got me my favorite food.
I had the best dream that night.

Comments from teachers about this assignment

Received 07/31/2015
Hi Oliver, I loved the twist ending of your poem! It was surprising to find out it was all a dream. You did an excellent job of describing the day you'd love to have. Next time you write a poem, try to incorporate a literary device that you've never used before. For example, you could try alliteration. Alliteration is when several words in a row start with the same letter or group of letters. An example of alliteration is, "Ten tigers tangoed towards Tennessee." Keep writing! I hope you had an excellent summer adventure with Brain Chase. Best, Miss Devon

Auragraph's Teacher

Auragraph looked out the window of his car excitedly. When his mom walked Auragraph over to his kindergarten classroom auragraph noticed a kid that looked like another kindergartener getting bulled by a group of kids that looked like third graders.

Auragraph said, "mom some kids over there are hurting a boy''.Auragraph's mom turned and saw the boy getting hurt and said,"knock it off''and kept on walking auragraph to his classroom.When auragraph saw his teacher she said in a kind voice,"welcome to classroom d-3.My name is mrs.Jason whats your name?'' "Auragraph''he said."oh''said mrs.Jason well auragraph let me walk you to your seat

 days went by, weeks went by, months went by,years went by until he came home from third grade on auragraph's first day.His mom asked"how was your day?''Auragraph slumped into a chair."bad''auragraph said.his mom asked"how come?''Auragraph said madly"all I did was I pulled out my pen one second late and she yelled at me!!''.now auragraph was crying and stormed into his room.Minutes later auragraph's mom came in and said in a small voice"I'm sorry that you got in trouble I'm going to talk to your teacher tomorrow for now just come and have dinner''"I will have it latter'' auragraph said.

many boring weeks past.one morning auragraph had a sub teacher every body was happy.many fun and enjoyable weeks past some people said that mrs.meany (what they call her after school hours)would never retun! and she did not return!so they had a fun rest of the year exepet for a boy named auragraph. on the last day of school auragraph was reading a book about history and found something that said about The Lost Kingdom. Auragraph kept on reading. It said that only two people on the planet knew where it was located.

when Auragraph went to bed that night he had a strange dream.he was dreaming about air getting turned into weapons.the next day auragraph felt a stinging in his head his mom took him to the doctors but they did not know what it was. when Auragraph came home from the doctors he said" mom last night I had a strange dream. it was that I could turn air into weapons''. his mom said"you can play in the front yard''. auragraph saw a big kid riding his bike on the street with his friends. auragraph said"I can turn air into tools."oh yeah?''said the boy he got off his bike picked up a rock and said "all right, make a shield ''. auragraph made a shield and the boy through the rock. It hit auragraph in the leg and the boys kept on ridding.auragraph did actually make a shield it's just that the rock was thrown too low. Auragraph went back into his house and found out that he was a super hero.he controled the air to take him to the lost kingdom. Auragraph